Do I need a nanny?

So now soccer season is in full swing...we've got Peeps and Poops playing soccer and the babe wants to crawl around the field (which lately has been muddy and full of goose poo). I have to say..by the time I get home from work we are rushing out the door for soccer and then I can't seem to figure out where to find time to clean and cook in between it all. It was easier without the Babe being mobile cause I could hold him while I did everything..but now he wants to explore...he loves to play with the dog food bowl (ick) and try to get in their water bowl...he loves to open cabinets and pick up every tiny thing he can find. He doesn't like to be confined in his walker or play pen so I kinda feel like I might need some help to get anything done. We are considering having my husband's cousin come live with us for a while and help with the house and baby while I am at work and then when I get home I can just be a mom and go to the park and play with the kids. She would do light cleaning and cook dinner at night...she was my husband's nanny when he was a baby.

Here are some pics taken at a basketball game where my daughter's faculty played against another school faculty and won! :-)

9 months

My little guy is 9 months already...it is so hard to believe that 9 months ago I was giving birth on Father's Day. I think the time slips by faster the more children you have. Some days I wonder how I even do it...working full time and getting out the door with 3 kids at tow. Poops always helps with Peeps but I get the babe ready and take him to his sitter. Half the time when I make it to work I realize I haven't brushed my teeth or hair and have to do it in the bathroom at work. Often I have some kind of goo or bodily fluid on my shoulder where the babe has chewed on me or lovingly wiped his nose on me. I worry that the time is flying by too fast when I take a hard look at him and see that he is not only crawling but moving from place to place on his feet..ready to walk.

Now its soccer season so we will have practice Monday-Thursday, 2 games every Saturday and one on Sunday. The time is surely going to move faster now than ever before and I just want to pause it all and take a breath with my kids. I want a day where we don't have anything to do and we can just be...no laundry..no chores...no errands...


Peeps did the funniest thing the other day...she started screaming like she had gotten hurt so her father and I run to her rescue..wondering what could it be..we didn't see any blood and she wasn't holding any particular part of her body..when we got her to stop screaming and were able to understand what was wrong we heard.."ANT!" . She had an ant on her! We couldn't calm her..the ant must've fallen off of her because I stripped her down and showed her it was gone but she wouldn't or couldn't believe me. She was sure the ant must've gone in her belly button or perhaps inside one of her "boo boos". I assured her the ant was gone after about 30 minutes of repeating it and showing her in the mirror. I don't get the fear of ants but I am hoping it goes away.

Peeps is so good with her baby brother. She just loves to hold him and take care of him. She runs to hug him when we walk in the door before even hugging me. Poops is good with her little sister but with her baby brother she would rather look at him from afar. He cries every time she goes to hold him (upon my request) and I think he feels her lack of enthausiam. Poops is struggling in school keeping organized and we are hoping she gets it under control before she heads off to middle school next year. Poops is now 5'3 and so skinny..I don't know what happened to my little girl but all of a sudden I see a young lady and that makes me sad. I miss my little girl...time please slow down just for a while..let me have a day to relish in my children and their beauty.

Leaving my Babe

I found a daycare provider for the Babe and she seems to be working out great. He has completely adjusted and I'm not sure if he even thinks about me during the day since he has adjusted so well. When I call him to check in he just wants to eat the phone. Every day when I drop him off as I drive away I get this horrible pang of nausea and guilt that I am hoping goes away but not sure if it will. How can I justify working and leaving my baby to be cared for by another? Is our nice neighborhood and single family home really worth the pain of not being with my children all day? Should my older children suffer in a lower class neighborhood and lesser school so that I can be home with them 24/7? I don't know. I don't know what is right and wrong but I keep banking on the idea that my Babe won't remember. He may even think that I never left him in daycare as my older one asked me one day. She didn't even know that I had left her in daycare when she turned 1. I am hoping this happens with the Babe. Now my Peeps cried last night when I told her I had to work today...she is 5 and still cries for me. It really breaks my heart.

Yesterday he didn't want to eat his sweet potatoes so his sitter said..I gave him couscous. I am okay with that...but wonder..what other things will she give him that I don't..and what kind of man will he be knowing I was not his only influence as a baby. Is it strange to worry and or think about these things? Probably...maybe...maybe not...but I do.

Babe's top right tooth is coming in and he constantly grinds his bottom two on the top point of a tooth. He makes the funniest face while doing this and I will have to post a photo next time I catch him doing this.

Growing Pains...turning 12

My little girl isn't so little anymore. Over the summer she blossomed into what looks to be a young lady. I feel like that car insurance commercial where the dad looks at his daughter in the drivers seat and what he sees is a little girl but the reality of the situation is she is a young woman. I still see my baby and sometimes I get confused when she walks by me and I look at her like who are you. She often asks me now..why are you staring at me? She must think I am cuckoo and maybe she's right but where is my baby? My little girl who followed me around and ran to hug and kiss me when I walked through the door from work. My little snuggle bug who wanted to be with me and share with me every detail of her life? I wonder where she has gone when I look into the face of my 12 year old daughter who acts like I am pulling her teeth out if I ask her to tell me about her day. The little girl who used to beg me for a kiss before I left now shys away from me like I have leprosy if I even attempt to put my lips near her face. I actually am tearing up now writing this because the very thought and reality pulls so strongly at my heart. I so miss my baby girl but I am proud of the big girl she is becoming. We do argue a lot more than I ever thought was possible but this morning she and Peeps made a cake and I thought..this girl is a sweet person. A good big sister..caring and loving...and although she is testing the waters every now and then and a pre teen..we can do this..get through this time together. I just hope I can be the best mom I can to provide her with the direction she needs to be a good woman and once she is done with college...hopefully a good mom.

Back to work

Today is my 8th day back at work and I honestly miss my little guy so much. I miss when he wakes up in the morning talking to himself and then when I go in the room and he gives me a great big smile. I miss rushing the girls off to school in the morning and saying “Have a good day!” I miss having decaf coffee with Poops and watching Peeps run into my arms when she gets off the bus. I miss having my day with my little man talking and smiling and just hanging out. I don’t know how working mothers do this..I’ve never left a baby so little as he is to go back to work and I have to admit it has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. Finding a daycare provider has been so difficult. His abuela was supposed to watch him but she says it is too exhausting. My father is watching him until I find a replacement sitter. Trusting a random stranger with the life of your child is incredibly hard. To my children whom I adore, I hope you know what a sacrifice I make to leave you each day. You will probably all think I am some silly nut one day to feel this way but I truly miss you and would rather be home with you all than anywhere else in the world.

He's Here!!!!! Father's Day Surprise!

My little man is here! He decided to surprise us on June 20th (Father's Day) and what a surprise it was. I woke up ready to go to Poops All Star soccer tournament of which my hubby was coaching to a feeling of having peed myself. I go to the bathroom and it just doesn't stop coming out...so I think..my water must have broken. (This is the first time this ever happened so I really didn't know what to make of it). I go to the bathroom where my husband was washing his face and stand outside the door. He opens it to see me standing there staring at him and I say..."I think my water broke." He asks, "Are you sure? Go to the bathroom and check." I said..I already did..so why don't you go downstairs and have breakfast and I will take a shower...then let's see what happens after that. So after my shower I get ready and the water just keeps coming...so I put towels there and my scrubs. As I'm waiting for hubby to finish up his breakfast I start getting contractions..about 8 minutes apart. I didn't really want to tell him because I really wanted to see if there was any way at all I could make it to Poops soccer game. I guess not...cause the pain was really overwhelming and my pants are being soaked...we make arrangements for the assistant coach to take over and get Poops while we head to the hospital with Peeps. We get there and my hubby drops me off at the hospital and says he is going to park. He's on the phone giving directions to the assistant coach on what plays to make and ect while I'm checking myself in. I then have to take an elevator upstairs so I can get checked in further. I go with Peeps upstairs and can't sit down because my pants are soaked and I didn't want to mess up the cushions on the chairs. Finally, they escort me to a room where I can get dressed into a gown and get started. Hubby was there by that point and he is still on the phone with the assistant coach. The nurses check me out and say I'm not very dilated..about 2cm and give me pitocin. Within an hour I'm up to 3cm. Within another hour I'm at 7cm...after that was a blur. Babe was born at 2:10pm and weighed 8lbs 12oz. I wanted to make sure he was a boy and for sure....he was all boy. After making sure he was healthy and good to go I told my hubby to get to the tournament and be there for Poops. She was doing her thing all alone with no family to watch her so he asked if I was sure and I said yes of course I am sure! We are just going to chill here and sleep and I wanted him to go get her anyways. Peeps was with her grandparents who had come to pick her up during my labor. They brought her back later that night and ever since that day we are doing great and loving every minute of life with the Babe.

At his one month check up he weighed in at 10lbs12oz so he gained 2lbs in one month! He's getting really big and loves to eat. Now what do I get hubby next Father's Day?????





One Month



Poops at the tournament...they got 2nd place!!!!!

Maternity pics done by an amazing 17 year old photographer...

It's a B-O-Y...haha! I can't believe it!

(21 wks)
So as hubby and I were watching the sonographer take pictures of our little babies organs she asked if we would like to know the gender of the baby. I said yes right away but hubby said..well why dont we put it in an envelope and open it later..I said when later? Like in the parking lot? Why would we do that? I want to know right this second! I totally expected it to be another girl since we already have 2 girls and the whole ring and string test said girl, the chinese gender said girl, and even the nurse at the obgyn said the heartbeat points to girl...so I'm picking out girl names and the sonographer says "It's a boy." and very calmly I might add. Hubby and I say..there must be a mistake..are you sure...can you show us what you see...and sure enough..its a boy. Now to find a name...

(21wks)

(21 wks)

The same day we went to Peep's heart doctor to have her murmur checked on and it seems that her heart murmur is gone....completely gone...my baby doesn't have a heart murmur anymore. It was a very happy day all around. :-)




HAPPINESS!

EEEK...Forgot to post about Poops 11th birthday!!!!!

So Poops is now 11...and she wanted a simple birthday this year..she wanted to get a pedi and mani with her favorite cousin, go roller skating, and have a sleepover. Here are some pics from her special day.


Their bellies were full of cake...whose was the fullest?






Poops got totally embarrassed when the restaurant staff heard it was her birthday and wanted to sing a little tune for her




11 years....can you believe it? She's still my baby...my first born. :-)

Christmas 2009

Peeps and Poops



Christmas was exhausting and I have came to the point where I just wanted to get it over with. Even the tree was exhausting...decorating it was no easy task..standing and reaching to put ornaments on. I let my husband do the lights which was kinda funny cause he took a big net (for the bushes outside) and strung them on the tree..lol...I let the girls do the ornaments by themselves (they kept complaining it was hard to find branches under the spider web of lights)...then lets talk about how I couldn't shop this season because walking made me puke. I can't tell you how many times I would puke in Target or Wally World while attempting to get some shopping done. Movement overall made me vomit..so shopping was no easy task. Maybe the baby didn't want it's sisters to have any gifts if he/she couldn't have any...anywhoo...then we have the wrapping and the hiding and Christmas Eve (where we go to my in laws and stay up till midnight to open presents). The kids love this but I was so TIRED and whoever said morning sickness didn't know me cause my nausea and vomiting was always worse at night. We stay up till midnight, open gifts, then go home around 3 to get into bed so SANTA can come and visit. Then the children wake up at 8 to open gifts from Santa and I feel like dying at this point but I smile and seem super excited so the kids can have a great Christmas. They open their gifts and stockings and want me to open everything and put everything together...ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.....daddy is still sleeping at this point..lucky man. I manage to find some energy so we can go to to the country to have an early Christmas dinner with my moms side of the family...(where my Aunt Wendy is the most awesome cook I know). My husband and daughter love her homemade apple pies which she makes completely from scratch and they act like its some sort of drug they fight over each year. The next day I went to my aunt's house with the girls and ate again...then you have to clean up all the mess and paper and boxes and find places to put the toys. Whew...........I'm thankful its over...

Here are some pics from our crazy Christmas...I'm sure the girls just had a great time...and behind the scenes..there is just so much work involved.

Poops very favorite gift of this Christmas (NINTENDO DSI)

(Peeps favorite gift this Christmas..well other than the hand down Nintendo DS she got from her sister was this wagon)



Scrappy looks like a present here..notice my hot sauce in my gift bag next to him-everyone gave me hot sauce...it helped with the nausea a bit

My aunt's famous Apple Pie!

This pic is me and the girls and my mom..she wanted a pic with all of us..I didn't really want to take it. Behind us is my famous Aunt Wendy (who makes the best pie) and my Uncle Ronnie (my mom's brother)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Bad Cookie

...my bad bad puppy...you all have no idea how much this puppy has eaten in my house...my $500 hot tub cover, countless shoes, new $40 soccer cleats, my 2 very expensive ottomans, and even the shoes I am wearing today...Don't let this face fool you...I am not sure what to do with her...we love her..but can I handle this??? We load her up with rawhide and bully sticks galore but she always manages to give me some kind of trouble...any suggestions? I am truly contemplating finding her a new home. :-(

Blizzard of 2009!

So we got about 20 inches of snow over the weekend...my office building was closed on Monday and the kids are out of school this entire week...so they get an extra long break until Jan 4! My puppy loves the snow and Poops wants to live in it...then there is Peeps who can only handle about 10 minutes of the freezing then she's ready to come in. It doesn't help that its like pulling teeth to get her to put on a pair of socks. Anywhoo...Saturday was super fun playing in the snow and sledding with our old man Scrappy Doo. Above is the pic..please notice how high the snow is to Poops legs and way taller than old man Scrappy. We haven't had a blizzard like this since 1996 when hubby and I were stuck at his parents house for many days....

Here's a pic of our house in the day covered by a white blanket of snow...



and here it is in the evening..so pretty!



Here's a pic of Poops getting ready to sled with her dad



and here is one of my back yard...Poops is playing with Cookie who loves to eat the snow



So after all the fun on Saturday we slept like babies and woke up to a freezing cold house...why? Because our heat broke down! Of course the timing was just splendid considering we were in a freaking blizzard! Lucky for me I have a friend whose husband does heating and ac..and he came over to say...we need a part..and I don't have it..I will have to order it tomorrow and come first thing in the morning...my jaw drops as I realize we have to endure this freezing cold for an entire day and through he night. Guess what that means...sleepover! We do have a fireplace and we put it to good use on Sunday...we all huddled up on the pull out bed in the living room in front of the fire including our 2 dogs, ferret, and birds. It went down to 50degrees and I woke up every 2 hours to put more wood on the fire. Dear hubby was out like a log...but every time I walked by the birds they'd freak out and start flapping their wings and swaking...birds...I am trying to keep you warm! haha..

Peeps was too thrilled that we had a sleepover in the living room and wanted to do it all the time..I was thankful for my friend's husband who got to my house at 11am and my heat was on and working within the hour.

My dear old dad (with his sweetness) shoveled out all our cars, sidewalk, and even my mailbox and driveway! He then had enough energy to go sledding with Poops. I have the best dad ever!

P.S. For those of you wondering about my pregnancy and sickness..I'm still sick..but I've found that eating hot peppers and Tabasco help keep some foods down...it's something...I still throw up about once a day..and I'm on 2 meds now. I'm hoping it will pass soon...please let it pass...but I do feel a lot better than before..nights are always the worst.

A little photo of Baby #3 at 8 weeks and 2 days

So sick...with hypermesis again....

I'm on meds for the nausea and vomiting but they don't always work. I ended up in the hospital on Monday for IV treatments for dehydration. My body wouldn't accept any food or drink for 4 days. It was horrible...now I am able to eat some things but not too much and very small quantities. Everyone is worried about me not being able to take prenatals and all I can worry about is if I will make it through another day without chucking all my food.

On a good note, I got to see a picture of my baby and my due date is scheduled for 6.27.09. They have said they will take the baby a week or two early because of my history with delivering big babies. How can this precious little thing inside of me make me so incredibly sick? I've even lost weight....but I carry on. I do my best to take my meds (which dissolve on my tongue!) and eat as much as I can. Peeps said God is mean because she sees how I am so sick and she relates God putting the baby in my belly to him being mean. What do I say to that? Poor thing...she wants to take care of me and Poops has been helping with the house work. Dear hubby tries to get me b vitamins and ginger tonics to help but all in all I feel horrible. I am thankful to my family for being so supportive and to God for blessing us with another family member. I pray that this hypermesis doesn't last 6 months like it did with Poops.

Thanks for listening!

I'm pregnant..with baby #3!!!

So this was a huge super duper surprise. I didn't even have an inkling of a clue....I saw a pregnancy test at the dollar store last week and bought it thinking ..hey it's only 1$..why not. I did have some breast tenderness but I thought my period was coming so that was why. So I take the 1$ store pregnancy test and it says I'm pregnant...I say..well this is just a 1$ store test..can't be right..can it? And then when my husband gets home I tell him and he says...well it's a 1$ store test..(same thing I said)..so he says to take another one..we happen to have some in the bathroom cabinet..(I forgot)...these are the good EPT ones..so it says I'm preggers too! So my chances are becoming slightly larger that I am indeed preg...I make a doctor appointment Monday morning...pee test says yep..I'm pregnant..Tuesday morning I go in for a sono to see how far along I am...5 weeks they guess...just an egg yolk at this point..a little circle. At least it's confirmed now.

From Saturday (when I first took the test)...to today (Thursday)...I've had a few changes. I feel sick now..nausea is really icky..especially this morning. My diet consists of ginger ale and crackers and bread. My entire office thinks I am infected with the swine flu because I look like crap. It's too early to share the news..especially with my history of miscarriages. I couldn't keep in it though..so here's my story. And hopefully this blog will be my outlet for this 9 month journey...well 8 months left right? :-)

Puppy update-she's getting bigger!

Cookie 15 weeks & Ava 4 years old :-)

Peeps turned 4!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEEPS!

The first party was from 3-5 and for the kids...then the 2nd party started at 5 and lasted until 1:30am!!!


We had a huge party for Peeps to celebrate her turning 4. We had a moon bounce, our trampoline that lives in our backyard, a pinata, face painting, and get this...a PONY! We rented the pony from Berryville, VA and it was awesome! Here are some pics of the party and my birthday girl.






(special treat from the pony company..a cow girl hat, chocolate pony lollipop and a bandanna)


(determined to break it!)

FRENZY FOR CANDY!

(why does daddy look so stressed?...could it be all the preschoolers running through the house?)




Present time!

JayJay helps open the gifts...cousins are great!


(this is when the 2nd party started....she got to be sung to 2x!...we reused the ponies on our tres leches cake)


Everyone hardly fit in our dining room...we ended up singing 3 additional times for some cousins with nearby birthdays...thanks for sharing your birthday PEEPS! I'm so glad you enjoyed your birthday!